California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as
PINO MORE
I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can't afford one.
So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box,
they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say,
"No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'
I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do... write to these men?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?
Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.
As for me,
I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
.Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
Of the millions of Cows in
And the BONUS thought of the day
"Life is like a jar of jalapeños . What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow".
.
SUBMITTED BY DICK OSADA
make sure you scroll downFor those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs; here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's and 1940's. Back in the day when everyone drove the old two-lane roads. And long before the interstate highways were invented.
Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmer's fields.
They consisted of small red signs with white letters.
Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet.....
and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.
Here are more of the actual signs:
DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR.
Burma Shave
TRAINS DON'T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
'CAUSE NOBODY SITS
IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP
Burma Shave
SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH
BY MISTAKE
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
HER HUSBAND JAKE
Burma Shave
DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave
BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE
Burma Shave
CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND A LITTLE MORE STEER
Burma Shave
SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?
Burma Shave
NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU
Burma Shave
A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'
Burma Shave
AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY
Burma Shave
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE
Burma Shave
THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
Burma Shave
CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.
Burma Shave
PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave
Do these bring back any old memories?
If not, you're merely a child.
If they do -- then you're old as dirt...
LIKE ME! 
Dick Osada
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**Peroxide...Interesting!***
*
This is what Oxi clean is...
did you know that????
3% peroxide
This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana
'I would like to tell you of the benefits of that plain
little old bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under
$1.00 at any drug store. My husband has been in the
medical field for over 36 years, and most doctors don't
tell you about peroxide, or they would lose thousands of
dollars.'
1. Take one capful (the little white cap that comes with
the bottle) and hold in your mouth for 10 minutes daily,
then spit it out (I do it when I bathe).
No more canker sores and your teeth will be whiter
without expensive pastes. Use it instead of mouthwash.
(Small print says mouth wash and gargle right on the
bottle.)
2. Let your toothbrushes soak in a cup of 'Peroxide' to
keep them free of germs.
3. Clean your counters, table tops with peroxide to kill
germs and leave a fresh smell. Simply put a little on
your dishrag when you wipe, or spray it on the counters.
4. After rinsing off your wooden cutting board, pour
peroxide on it to kill salmonella and other bacteria.
5. I had fungus on my feet for years - until I sprayed a
50/50 mixture of peroxide and water on them (especially
the toes) every night and let dry.
6. Soak any infections or cuts in 3% peroxide for five
to ten minutes several times a day. My husband has seen
gangrene that would not heal with any medicine, but was
healed by soaking in peroxide.
7. Fill a spray bottle with a 50/50 mixture of peroxide
and water and keep it in every bathroom to disinfect
without harming your septic system like bleach or most
other disinfectants will.
8. Tilt your head back and spray into nostrils with your
50/50 mixture whenever you have a cold, or plugged
sinuses. It will bubble and help to kill the bacteria.
Hold for a few minutes then blow your nose into a tissue.
9. If you have a terrible toothache and cannot get to a
dentist right away, put a capful of 3% peroxide into
your mouth and hold it for ten minutes several times a
day. The pain will lessen greatly.
10. And of course, if you like a natural look to your
hair, spray the 50/50 solution on your wet hair after a
shower and comb it through. You will not have the
peroxide burnt blonde hair like the hair dye packages,
but more natural highlights if your hair is a light
brown, reddish, or dirty blonde. It also lightens
gradually so it's not a drastic change.
11. Put half a bottle of peroxide in your bath to help
rid boils, fungus, or other skin infections.
12. You can also add a cup of peroxide instead of bleach
to a load of whites in your laundry to whiten them. If
there is blood on clothing, pour directly on the soiled
spot. Let it sit for a minute, then rub it and rinse
with cold water. Repeat if necessary.
13. I use peroxide to clean my mirrors with, and there
is no smearing which is why I love it so much for this.
I could go on and on. It is a little brown bottle no
home should be without! With prices of most necessities
rising, I'm glad there's a way to save tons of money in
such a simple, healthy manner.
Send on to others who might need to know the benefits of
3% peroxide
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